Well, it doesn’t matter if you (think) you have fallen in love with somebody. It really doesn’t matter if you have bruised your senses and your mind in that process, and you keep cribbing about it for 3 odd years. What matters is how soon you realize that it’s all a game. I have been in ‘love’ with this X and have gone through an excruitiating pain in my heart, such that i could even feel it now and I have been trying to post wolves around the fence so that anyone approaching towards me with a gun does not survive.... rather, does not live ! at all !

How much I had tried to protect myself from being in love again or being attracted to somebody else. But... all “efforts” (in quotes) gone in vain. How we think we can protect ourselves. In the process I have experienced closed-mindedness (I don’t know how many people really understands the phenomenon.... really truly! You know!). Experienced Judging other human species to the extent that in my mind I have scanned them and raped them. That would mean I would go to that extent where I would find his/her weak spot. Every form of being who has thinking as a mode of decision-making was (or is) a danger to you.  (of course not literally)...... So you may go that down... Or be lost in your thoughts in such a way that encoutering such who you think are "danger" to you you may have to try figuring out a defense mechanism.

Basically my point is.. You will be hurt.. Yes! You will. And my intention is let you be aware of it. But once you understand how the mind is playing a role in it, how the mind is capturning your entire belief system and making you think you are more vulnerable to weak situations. Once you are aware of this your half battle is understood. And with this acceptance of how the beautiful mind is working it’s way then comes then realization that all your efforts are futile. Because God will do its work and the moment you understand, rather, accept this truth, the day you would know you can be or are okay.

Also, the weak state of mind makes you (unconciously) be a part of a vortex. And therefore you fall prey of similar kind of situations. Same kind of experiences with boyfriends, girlfriends, boss... Falling into same kind of company.... you name it ! the first step towards success can be AWARENESS.

Start thinking... and surrender.... And let go. Being obsessed (read: crying and cribbing all the time) about the dark while you are a desperate for the sun to shine is not in-sync to what you deserve.

But at the same time I think there was there was “Something better”  who wanted me to choose to go to my center.. Because I sought peace, a better state of mind... and more important learn to have a charge over my own life. According to me, what can make the difference is my choice.

H. H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a spiritual leader once said in a knowledge session that we should learn to be alone and like our own company. I obviously don’t remember the exact quote but this was what the essence of it, for me.

So now you know how the mind is working.. And soon you will realize you are a part of a Higher power. Just make  sure your ideas and choices are in sync with that power. Wish you the best.