TILL DEATH DO US PART … ???

Love means nothing.. and, I tell you nothing.. without responsibility.

If there’s any feeling that resonates ‘love’ it’s ‘responsibility’. You love your kids, but you take no responsibility then what kind of love do you think it is. You promise someone that you will love her/him no matter what but when time comes to show the same, you don’t even remain in the scene.. then it definitely wasn't love. Probably it was just a feeling.

Another thing which comes hand-in-hand to being responsible is commitment. I think most people don’t really know what commitment really is. It seems like a burden. And we always run away from something that seems like a burden to us. It’s advisable you do not fall in love with someone who thinks taking your responsibility is a burden. Rather you let that person go and figure things out.

But to all the love-struck kids… answer this one question to yourself - Does love without responsibility make any sense to you??? When you are marrying somebody and taking vows try to pay attention to every word that you say.. Like, to be there for each other & support one another for better or for worse.. Do we really know what that really means!?.. I am not saying these are the secrets of a good relationship.. But definitely, it’s an important aspect that will help you keep one. Even if it’s a job.

Well, it doesn’t matter if you (think) you have fallen in love with somebody. It really doesn’t matter if you have bruised your senses and your mind in that process, and you keep cribbing about it for 3 odd years. What matters is how soon you realize that it’s all a game. I have been in ‘love’ with this X and have gone through an excruitiating pain in my heart, such that i could even feel it now and I have been trying to post wolves around the fence so that anyone approaching towards me with a gun does not survive.... rather, does not live ! at all !

How much I had tried to protect myself from being in love again or being attracted to somebody else. But... all “efforts” (in quotes) gone in vain. How we think we can protect ourselves. In the process I have experienced closed-mindedness (I don’t know how many people really understands the phenomenon.... really truly! You know!). Experienced Judging other human species to the extent that in my mind I have scanned them and raped them. That would mean I would go to that extent where I would find his/her weak spot. Every form of being who has thinking as a mode of decision-making was (or is) a danger to you.  (of course not literally)...... So you may go that down... Or be lost in your thoughts in such a way that encoutering such who you think are "danger" to you you may have to try figuring out a defense mechanism.

Basically my point is.. You will be hurt.. Yes! You will. And my intention is let you be aware of it. But once you understand how the mind is playing a role in it, how the mind is capturning your entire belief system and making you think you are more vulnerable to weak situations. Once you are aware of this your half battle is understood. And with this acceptance of how the beautiful mind is working it’s way then comes then realization that all your efforts are futile. Because God will do its work and the moment you understand, rather, accept this truth, the day you would know you can be or are okay.

Also, the weak state of mind makes you (unconciously) be a part of a vortex. And therefore you fall prey of similar kind of situations. Same kind of experiences with boyfriends, girlfriends, boss... Falling into same kind of company.... you name it ! the first step towards success can be AWARENESS.

Start thinking... and surrender.... And let go. Being obsessed (read: crying and cribbing all the time) about the dark while you are a desperate for the sun to shine is not in-sync to what you deserve.

But at the same time I think there was there was “Something better”  who wanted me to choose to go to my center.. Because I sought peace, a better state of mind... and more important learn to have a charge over my own life. According to me, what can make the difference is my choice.

H. H. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar, a spiritual leader once said in a knowledge session that we should learn to be alone and like our own company. I obviously don’t remember the exact quote but this was what the essence of it, for me.

So now you know how the mind is working.. And soon you will realize you are a part of a Higher power. Just make  sure your ideas and choices are in sync with that power. Wish you the best.

the curved paradigm

Here I am again, people.. I just recently met this friend of mine, a new friend.. And recently we started chatting.. Well.. Though we were talking about the norms and cons of the current state, but something was telling me that we weren’t totally getting connected, vocally.. Though we were talking about the same issues, but it felt more of something like the outside than the inside…

Okay fine, let me make it simple for you… In short, I was talking about the problem we face, be it politically, or socially, and at times in personal relationships, and my points were nearer to the reason of the outside – he was pointing out the effect and I pointed on the cause…

On the course, he just mentioned that these days people are running with good degrees in every corporate houses to get into a job…

It suddenly struck me – good degree = good job???? When was this ever true?!! In that case, why people are at all appearing for the interview??!!!! Given our course of conversation, I didn’t dare to point this out to him..

But in turn I asked him few things, like –

What is his passion? / Where does his heart lie?

He replied, he’s just chatting and most often he’s surfing the net ….

I suddenly realized the press of a panic button and i found myself typing – “wait!!”

I asked him about his passion and I couldn’t find my answer..

I pointed out again.. I reframed … - “Where does your heart lie, I mean, what is it that you love doing?”

He stopped for a while… His delay in reply made me realize that he’s consciously figuring out… and here it pings “I don’t know” … and I remember he said his age is 25!

His reply was well figured out way before he typed those 3 words…

I was anyway getting late for my breakfast, and after bidding him goodbye, I logged out and while having the yummy home-cooked veggies, something was wavering in my mind… I couldn’t help but to think over it for a while…

Most of the people out there in the street, I thought, might be having the same reason?

Their pleasure is in something else, they want something else and guess what! They’re doing completely something different!!!

PASSION à

ß WANT

ACTION à

But the issue seemed not as simple as it might have sounded…

I was, one day, browsing the channels of my television ……. 67 … 68… 69.. I was actually looking for Star World which was somewhere after the 70s.. but and didn’t remember.. But ….. Bang !!! At the 70^th (of course the channel, 70) I happen to *experience* the interview of Brahmakumari sister Shivani, where she states:

Between the Param-atma Pita and the consciousness there are different layers (due to age/time) and therefore we aren’t in sync with our actual Self… and therefore these layers bury rather, create that barrier to the magnet that connects us with the Self!

My objective was actually very simple… You think yourself to be somebody, you want something else out of yourself (97% times you don’t know what you want actually)… but whereas you are deep down someone else… in short you define yourself with the perception or the image you hold about yourself or which you project around, and strangely, at times, by the people around you! But that can be something completely non-relative to what IS actually Within !!!

Such was the issue with this friend of mine…

The whole concept of knocking doors was like, fitting in where “they” want you to fit, and not where you place yourself to be!!! And “they” cannot be blamed of course, for this!!

But the consequences remain the same… Changing your job frequently, and creating a disaster out of your CV!

Now who do you feel is sailing on a chagrin voyage of dilemma and discombobulation ?!!!

You know… It just dawned on me… It, all, is obviously the beads of the same chain!

I am talking about your relationships !

How? … okay.. here it goes…

You are not conscious of who you actually are, then how do you feel you’d realize what you know, be it from if it’s your own other “entity”, I mean, your partner, or the people you are linving… oops.. definitely not “live-ing”, but staying with ?!??!!!

What do you get at the end of the day? A break-up number 9, 21, 34 ..???? ……… Problems, issues, “my mother doesn’t understand”, “my father is so rude”.. and “my brother .. ooohhhh …. I don’t even consider that he exists !!”…

I know exactly what you are thinking about .. Actually, that’s a question which has started endeavouring in your mind…!!

After all the concept in the film “Inception” is true.. An idea is truly, like a virus !!

Good… That you are at least thinking… That some external force is splashing water on your numb face to wake you up from the deeeeep unconscious Sleep !!!!

Se Reveiller people !!!!

See you all soon!!!

Turbulence...

[26.04.2010; Kolkata welcomed the rain, I was in my room.

The weather and everything related was a metamorphosis of what I was going through. Try to perceive it.]

My breath was fast...

Yet am living it.

It was raining....

Supposedly a tremendous romantic weather.

But for some loners like me such are more likely to be drop of rains, just the cool breeze feeding your fascination.

You fascinate of being held by your loved one, the special one.

At the moment my doors are locked.

Perhaps I am resisting or have resisted the storm, since I am apprehensive about the consequences - will I be able to control it, or even worse - understand it!

Just a quarter to an octogenarian, am too young to understand these worldly matters, happy to remain naive.

Am I?

The door is still locked, it wishes to check it's security, given the force tampering outside.

The wind outside is really strong enough to unfold the dark reality which I do not hold the courage to face.

Shall I open or shall I leave it that way.

Breathing in would have meant allowing intoxication of my circulatory organ, so the door hasn't yet given up.

The inexplicable moment made me grow more incredulous of the situation and it's consequences. I am perhaps growing a little impatient.

The reason is still to be deciphered.

I guess I wasn't keen enough to answer my own questions. I am disolving in that state, with a chagrin.

I did try to amend it, censuring it, to have a logical explanation, illogically.

Give it....

Saari umra hum mar mar ke jee liye

Ek pal toh ab humein jeene do - jeene do

Give me some sunshine, give me some ray,

give me another chance I wanna grow up once agaiN...!!!

........ so true when it was being contemplated by the lyricist Swanand Kirkire..... but was he just doing it to get a good deal of money or did he mean it??????......

We, as students, have always been complaining against the "system" of education in Kolkata ... or rather in India (cannot comment on global issues)... Our forefathers did suggest us to study to "gain knowledge" rather than mugging up and vomitting on the answer sheet... but never were we given a chance to imply that!!! Who bothered???

Our parents, most often, did saw us getting diverted from studies, either watching television or perhaps busy talking secretly over the cell phone (or any incident u might have faced), but never did they ever made any attempt to figure out WHY was that happening that way, what was going wrong????

Why is education a compulsion??? and not something which every human (or even animals if interested) does because of the only reason that they WANT TO... (exceptions being there)... At the end of the day who's losing...???

Hello???? Is anyone bothered???? Crap!!! leave it.....

Just a Company....

...which refers to people/a person you generally choose to live/work/hang around with. They tend to become your friends most of the time, successfully or failed.

This is an amateur attempt to express my point regarding a juvenile mind which chooses to consider a "stranger" to be a friend, apparently being with that person, supporting him in times of need, etc....

Rohit and Suchandana, apparently best friends, both from the same college, walking down the lane; later on enters a park and sits on a bench; Rohit being exhausted. The clock stroke 10 a.m. in Rohit’s watch, and he wasn’t bothered.

Rohit takes an effort to relax, by resting his back, exhaling a heavy breathes, Suchandana leans forward.

They didn’t want to exchange any words, but the exchange was there.

Something was wrong, a jogger understood while passing by, just a curious eye.

“Man!!! This isn’t fair, it really isn’t...” Rohit, not been able to bear the turbulations, hitting him in his arteries and veins, busted out.

There was a moment of silence, (not really inspired from the “silence speaks” theory), with no response, as it was expected.

“Did he need to do all this??? Bloody **** man!!! In my whole life no impression has ever been spoilt like this. (Too bad, god knows whose turn was it next). What the hell... Such cheap guys... (???)”

He just had to continue saying, till he felt the calmness within his soul, apparently though.

But, after the entire grievances were expressed, there was a silence, unconditionally welcomed from softer ends...

As if, more to be heard...

After a moment, the only thing to be heard in a calmer and sweeter tone was “Better we take a walk my friend”... Rohit rubbing his partially tearful eyes got up and strolled along with her, feeling relaxed. He was all fine, as because he was given chance to be heard and to be accepted, without any preaching or even consoling. She gave what he needed at that very moment.

I wonder why some people are so desperate to reveal all their “knowledge-of-the-world”, even they are made understood that it wasn’t needed??? What crap!!!

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